***PEOPLE WATCHING***

So today, let’s discuss people watching. Everyone does it whether they do it consciously or not. Not all of my people watching is deliberate. Sometimes it’s a simple matter of boredom setting in. Most of the time my people watching is simple observation. Although, from time to time, the analogies I have whizzing through my mind bring a smile or a smirk. I honestly don’t set out to be mean spirited. That’s not to say there haven’t been times I’ve seen someone walk past, dressed in some unusual way and made the comment under my breath, “Wow I guess they don’t have a mirror!” (I believe I’ve mentioned, I tend to be sarcastic.)

If I’m going to be completely frank, living where I do, there is more than the average chance of seeing something out of the ordinary. I have noticed however, that it takes a little help from time to time to truly appreciate what I’m seeing. 

Take for example, the other evening. My friend and I observed someone who had been in the same place for quite a while. They were standing near the street engaging in a lengthy cell phone conversation. No reason to cast aspersions on this person. But, as they were dressed from head to toe in red and were rather stocky in build, when my friend mentioned the similarity to a ketchup bottle, I couldn’t help but agree. It wasn’t truly judgmental, it was just a comical comparison that couldn’t be avoided. I give full credit to my friend for coming up with that comparison, although I confess to my agreeing most enthusiastically with it within a heartbeat in time. Our shared opinion was followed by several minutes of hearty laughter as we debated whether we were looking at Heinz, Hunts, or a store brand variety of ketchup bottle. I know, it’s disgraceful!

Another observation that I made when on my own, enjoying a long overdue beach day, brought thoughts of David Attenborough narrating a program about the wonders in the natural world. 

I was at a particular beach, where snorkeling is excellent. The proximity to a pier provides structure for a greater variety of wildlife in a concentrated area. As I scanned the horizon, actually just admiring the waves rolling in, I spotted a gentleman emerging from the water. He was post snorkel and removing his mask and fins while making his way to a nearby blanket occupied by a young woman perusing a magazine.

As he approached the blanket and shook his gear to remove excess water, I observed something I had never seen before. Bear in mind, I don’t happen to snorkel, but upon seeing it for the first time, it couldn’t help but get my attention.

At first he bent one knee upward, not unlike a flamingo. He followed that by tilting his head to the other side and jumping up and down several times on the foot that had remained planted on the ground. With each jump, he also tipped his head back-and-forth from side to side. This was repeated in reverse, knee up, standing on one foot, head tilt, jump, jump, jump, jump, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. I understand he was simply trying to remove excess water from his ear canal. I however could not help but think of some exotic bird mating dance. Unfortunately, if it had been a mating dance, it wouldn’t have had any effect whatsoever, as the attractive young woman who appeared to be with him, was thoroughly engrossed in her fashion magazine.

With a broad smile on my face I turned away and devoted my attention to the pelican flying overhead. I guess the lesson learned here is that I’m able to find joy and or entertainment in every day things. Is that somehow going to change the world? Of course not. But if we can all find a little something to bring levity to each day then I think we’re better off. I promise I won’t buy a mirror for that person who doesn’t own one if you promise to try and smile a little more.

***TIME***

So, I’m not sure if I am getting lazy or just older, but I love it when the weekend arrives! I suppose we all do. Even if you don’t work a full-time Monday to Friday job there’s a special kind of weekend feeling. A vibe that makes the days different somehow. That’s where the trouble begins.

I find myself jealously guarding my weekend time. Friends call to invite me to activities or meals or events. When I accept, I enjoy myself immensely. The company, if nothing else, is great. After all, it is my friends I’m with. If I didn’t like them, we wouldn’t be friends in the first place!

Talking myself into participating is the tricky part. It isn’t even as though I was going to do anything amazing on my own. It’s the idea of not having the time to do whatever I want to do. As if I could change life dramatically left to my own devices, undisturbed. Like, I might end hunger or bring about world peace.

So, back to the question, am I being lazy? Do sleeping in and catching the game on TV really make me happiest? Does using the time to clean out the closet and mop my floor really give me a sense of accomplishment? Is it really about working on my tan or understanding the value of time? 

When I was a youngster older people talked about time being the most valuable thing there is. That is true. Time is the one commodity that can’t be bought. It’s value, priceless.

Do I view it differently now because I have started to think I have less time available? Am I trying to make the most of it? What does that really mean? Maybe it truly is about the life in your years and not the years in your life. Does that mean doing more is the answer…or doing less? What is the right thing to do? Is there a solution or is this another great mystery that will never truly be solved?

It doesn’t make matters any easier that I live in an area where the term “island time” is bandied about so cavalierly. The term is synonymous with procrastination.

There is definitely something to be said for taking life a little slower. Whether it’s because you’re a senior, or simply because you have a much needed day off from work. But, always pushing things to,” mañana”, can result in a perpetual state of limbo.

If there is one thing that I simply cannot handle, it’s limbo! 

So again, we have another question to clarify. I’m all for the practice of savoring those moments that we’ll never see again. Not all moments, however, are in need of savoring. We all have to find a way to navigate between obligations and responsibilities and self-care. Now there’s a new term for you.

Although expressions like,” you can’t pour from an empty vessel,” have been around for generations. It’s only recently that the term self-care has become commonplace, and again, self-care is something we each have to define for ourselves.

So sometimes savoring and self-care involve chips and salsa and a ball game. Sometimes it’s a couple of hours stretched out on soft, warm sand, listening to the waves and the sea birds. Maybe you need a spa day or just a walk in the woods. Whatever the definition is for you, whatever you need to recharge, refill and refresh. I hope you find it. Not just today but with great frequency. Until next time…

***WEATHER***

Today I was thinking about the weather. In part because we had a little
bit of a change in the weather where I happen to live, but also because
it occurred to me how very different everyone’s opinion of good weather
can be.
We all know someone who prefers it cooler, and we probably all know
someone who prefers it warmer. We also probably all know those
people who love to see the “change of the seasons“.
But, have you ever stopped to think about how drastically different some
of those opinions really are? For instance, for the people who say they
like it cooler or cold what exactly is their definition of cold?
I think it’s chilly when it drops into the low 70s. You’ll find me wearing
something with sleeves, a light jacket or even a sweater when it drops
below 70. Other people will run around wearing tank tops and shorts in
those temperatures.
My friend who lives in Maine occasionally sends me pictures of postcard
worthy snow scenes that are just outside her window. Often she
includes the weather forecast which features lows below zero. I can’t
imagine how anyone can even function with those kinds of
temperatures.
Some people I know consider it sweltering when it just touches the 80s.
I’ve lived quite a few places and recall one locale that had summer
temperatures of triple digits regularly. Not heat index temps but actual
temperatures. That coupled with humidity in the 90’s percentile was truly
sweltering in my opinion.
It is true that it’s lovely to see the first flowers of Spring poking their
colorful little heads out into the fresh air. Just like it’s truly beautiful when
you see the leaves begin to change color with the first chill of Autumn.
But I’ve come to the conclusion that Spring and Fall in most locations
has far too much temperature waffling to be truly enjoyable.
Seriously, a mild morning can turn into a genuinely cold evening. You
better be prepared!
Now, I enjoy the occasional rainy day as much as the next person.
Something about the sound of rain hitting the roof overhead is very
soothing, but I can only enjoy a day or two at a time. I will even admit to
stomping in puddles and doing my best at imitating Gene Kelly from
Singing In the Rain. But, days of socked in rains, gloomy skies, and
occasional rumbles of thunder with cracks of lightning can make it
anything but enjoyable.
And while I am as enthralled as any four-year-old by big fat, fluffy, white
snowflakes drifting down from the sky, I can only truly enjoy them when

I’m looking at them through a window. Again, I have had my share of fun
building snowmen and making snowballs but once I get cold I’m done! I
want to be inside a warm house with a cup of hot chocolate in my hand
as I admire those glistening masterpieces of nature floating in the air.
So, for me, the best weather is a bright sunny day in the low 80’s with a
gentle breeze. And if I’m going to be completely honest, I think I could
have that every single day and not get at all tired of it. What is your idea
of the best weather?

***SLUMBER PARTY***

I was just wondering if there is a cut off on an appropriate age for slumber parties. I recently had occasion, unexpectedly, to have a grown-up slumber party with a friend. 

She was as gracious a hostess as anyone could ask for. I was given full access to anything in the fridge-freezer- or on the pantry shelf. I was dressed comfortably. I had my PJs and even a favorite snuggly fleece throw to wrap up with. 

We chatted off and on between other activities…And of course, we stayed up until the wee hours of the morning. Movies, laughter ringing through the house and good vibes in general were abundant. 

But… 

There’s nothing wrong with a friend‘s couch other than that one particular spot that you normally park your backside isn’t there. That special place you have wallowed out amongst the throw pillows and cushions is missing. After a few hours, you notice that. 

The house was totally comfortable, but the temperature was not the same as what I”m used to. Again, after a few hours, you notice that. 

Think about it, in most cases whenever you go to a friend’s house, especially as an adult, you’re there for only a few hours and then you return to your own home. Your own space. Your own vibe, if you will. 

But when you’re staying all night at someone else’s home, no matter how comfortable it might be it’s still someone else’s home. Decades ago sleeping on the couch or the floor watching movie after movie and giggling with friends was an awesome experience! Now as an adult that shiny memory can’t really be repeated. At least not without becoming aware of the tarnish you might place on that image.

In all honesty, I did not expect to have the same experience as I did when my age was single (or barely double) digits. There is no doubt having a chance to have quality time with a treasured friend is invaluable, no matter what the setting! But, so many things are different now! 

Disney movies have been replaced with romcoms. Pizza and cookies have turned into charcuterie boards with expensive cheeses and fruit. Milkshakes or root beer floats have been replaced with a chilled bottle of wine. Some of it is indeed compensatory, but… I wouldn’t turn down a fresh slice of pizza laden with melted cheese even now. 

Do you remember the buildup for the event? Days, sometimes even weeks of anticipating the spend the night “party” that was coming. 

Maybe even shopping excursions to buy new pajamas. Something especially cute. And there were pajama bags, special pillows, sleeping bags, all sorts of paraphernalia that went with that amazing experience. 

Then the morning after… Tall stacks of pancakes dripping with syrup or maybe steamy cinnamon buns with homemade icing rolling down the sides.

I suppose the most important thing is the takeaway from it all. Fortunately that remains the same. The thought that someone thinks enough of you to open their home and heart. They don’t care about your fancy clothes or the makeup you aren’t wearing. There are friends and then there are acquaintances. Friends, true friends, are few and far between. They are to be prized and valued.

***INTERFERENCE***

So today, I want to talk about how life interferes with living. Now that’s not quite as crazy as it sounds, I promise. We all go through our day today convinced that we have a handle on things. It’s probably the only reason we can sleep at night at all. We simmer along from one day to the next going to our jobs, paying our bills, meeting up with friends on occasion, and so on.  We tell ourselves we are going to eat better next week or maybe we’re disciplined enough to make sure that we just have salads at lunch every day. One proper meal, showing up for work on time, and making sure that we take our vitamins every day leads us to believe we’re in control. Then all of a sudden, wham! Out of the blue here it comes. Now don’t get me wrong, that something that is so unexpected is not always an earth shattering or life altering event. However, it does not change how much it ruffles our feathers. 

It may be that we walk out to our car in the morning to go to work and the tire is flat for some unknown reason. That’s very inconvenient but thankfully fairly easy to fix. Sometimes we go to the doctor for our yearly check up and the tests show that we need to be eating more of those salads. Again it’s important, but not exactly scary. 

But…there are those big things that happen sometimes. Maybe it’s not just a flat tire, maybe it’s an accident with your car. Maybe it’s not just your cholesterol up a few points, it’s something frightening showing up in the blood work. The truth of the matter is we all have our ways that we handle these things. 

I was born a worrier. Someone told me once that worry was a lack of faith. I really hope that’s not true because honestly, I was born a worrier. It works for me. (Just like being generally crabby and disagreeable.)  In any event, whether I’m looking at a fixable, minor problem or something bigger, I guarantee you I will lie awake thinking about it. If I wake up in the night, I won’t be able to go back to sleep…because I’m thinking about it. I am certain I’m not the only person that operates this way. 

Now based on previous experience, I can honestly say that things do work out. The expression “Everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff” is true. For example, my Mom always left home with plenty of time to get to wherever she was going. I still do that. (Thank you, Mom) If ever we left later than expected invariably we would pass by a fender bender on the side of the road. My mother would nod knowingly and say “Now see, that’s why we’re running behind. If we had been earlier, we could’ve been involved in that!” 

So again we cruise from one day to the next dodging the obstacles that come our way. It allows us to feel the sense of control I mentioned.

At this stage in my life, I try very hard to avoid allowing my anxiety to reach a level that actually keeps me awake at night for any length of time, no matter what the circumstances are. It is impossible to avoid though. Sometimes some things just happen. So I try to remember again what my mother said when I was a small child and I couldn’t sleep, (again, born a worrier), my Mother would say, “Lie still, and think happy thoughts”, I can’t say that ever actually worked, but it was good advice. (For the record, it still doesn’t work.) But thank you again, Mom. 

I guess my point in this ramble is to reassure everyone, including myself that we are all gonna be fine. Having a bumpy road from time to time is completely normal…And a bumpy road is a big difference from a mountain that has to be climbed. There are very few of those that we ever actually face. Should a mountain present itself, then the best advice I think anyone can give or receive is to just keep going one step at a time. You may not get there fast, but you’ll still get there. This might also be the time to mention that every time I have attempted to type “worrier” autocorrect has changed it to “warrior”. So whether you woke up this morning with sunshine in your heart or a chilly, dark downpour in your spirit, don’t be discouraged. The world is still turning and if you woke up, then that’s a sign you must be needed. So here’s to wishing all of us blue skies and smooth sailing.

***SHOPPING***

So I was thinking about shopping. It occurs to me that there are many
different kinds of shopping. There’s the shopping that we all do. You
know the kind I’m talking about, the big holidays that come throughout
the year. Even ones that aren’t necessarily true gift giving occasions, will
often still result in a token of some kind being exchanged.

Then there are the more personal things that we shop for. Again, usually
gift related. But it’s something for someone we know and love. A
birthday or anniversary, for example.

There’s also what I might call “emergency” shopping. That’s what happens
when you suddenly realize you must have something. Whether it’s
realizing you’re out of pain reliever, and you’ve developed a crushing
headache or you have a sudden unexpected event to attend and simply
“have nothing to wear“.

There is also what I term “legal“ shopping. I know that sounds a little
unusual, but my meaning behind that is that it’s legitimately shopping for
the necessities. Specifically, I consider grocery shopping to be that kind
of shopping. Generally, you need the bread, the eggs, the milk, etc. And
if the extras that you buy happen to be on special that week,
well then that’s a big bonus. No guilt involved in that kind of shopping.
Maybe even an added sense of accomplishment thanks to the bargains.

Sometimes when we get things, whether it be a diamond ring or a teddy
bear, because it’s going to someone we know so well, it ends up being
perfect because of the thought behind it.

For those big gift giving occasions, it can often be a gift for someone you
don’t know well, purchased out of a sense of obligation or responsibility.
Something along the lines of a teacher‘s gift for the holidays or as a
thank you before summer vacation.

There’s also the genuinely unpleasant kind of shopping that’s the result
of something requiring repair or replacement. That is the least fun kind
of shopping of all! It doesn’t really matter if it’s an appliance that gives
up the ghost, an issue with your car, or an ace bandage for a sprain. It’s
still unpleasant.

Now, miscellaneous shopping is a truly huge category. That covers
everything from new school clothes to new shoes to a hostess gift that
you take when invited over for dinner.

Maybe the most important part of shopping is the experience itself. You
can choose to resent it or enjoy it…but if you try hard enough and allow

yourself to experience the moment, a positive spin can be put on almost
any of the shopping.

An example would be walking into a small bakery. Your senses
immediately assaulted by delicious scents. Your eyes falling on
beautifully displayed and terribly sinful treats behind glass and on the
counter tops. Even the simplest buttery croissant will make your mouth
water.

As you make your way through the grocery store, when you come
across the produce department, if you’ll pause, your eyes are treated to
an array of color carefully displayed to tantalize you.

if you’re shopping for Jewelry, you will be overwhelmed by the gleam
and sparkle of gems and gold. Even the soft glow of an iridescent pearl
is alluring.

If you’re after a teddy bear, well, then you get to admire them all,

maybe even hugging them because enjoying a cuddle with a stuffed animal
isn’t limited to childhood alone.

Clothing shopping may come with its share of complications, but it can
still be fun. Dresses, pants suits, a multitude of shoes, belts, and bags.
And if you know your size, you may even be able to avoid the dreaded
fitting room.

And holiday shopping, no matter what the holiday, involves walking into
some type of boutique, decorated to the point of explosion with colors,
textures, sparkles, and warmth abounding.

It’s fair to say, in this day and age, even if you’re going to a home
store because you have to replace an appliance, the selection is almost
overwhelming. Remember the days when you had three refrigerators to
choose from and maybe two different washing machines. Yes, times have
definitely changed.

if I’m being completely honest, even a trip to a drugstore, because I
realized too late that I was out of something, can be a bit of an
adventure. Who expects 50 kinds of bandages? From cute
cartoon character band-aids for the kids to a variety of colors and sizes.

So whether you’re buying an ace bandage, or a new car, I suggest
taking a deep breath and enjoying the experience. At least you can
count on some enjoyment until the time comes to make payment. Just
kidding.